Forget any focus on minor phrases like "in tune." Maybe the key to becoming America's next superstar simply exists knowing how to leave a room.
I've just finished watching the first hour of tonight's "American Idol" premiere, a round of auditions in Minneapolis. So far, I'm simply blown away by how many contestants lack the ability to choose the correct exit door.
A problem, obviously, that could be remedied by the early debut of a "Seacrest, out" sign.
Highlights so far? The William Hung-esque take on Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough," as well as the Flava Flav/boxer hybrid who failed to wow the judges with his Italian melody.
And can I just say Perla -- or, if you prefer, Charo Jr. -- has already established herself as muy caliente? She's a self-professed version of the American Dream who made it through to Hollywood after performances of Blondie's "Call Me" and Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie."
No, especially after that stellar full-body pan shot, her hips don't lie. But let's just say Jewel shouldn't expect her soul to be saved after her guest stint tonight.
Stay tuned.
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