it's raining losers

So "Idol" is back and so am I, this time in the absence of the first-time viewers who joined me Tuesday. It's an unexcused absence, although something tells me my viewing counterparts overdosed on Charo dreams earlier this evening.
Or are simply still searching for the exit door.
Anyway, tonight's auditions are in Seattle, the city of grunge rock and rain that inspired me in 10th grade to fantasize about starting a metal band dressed as Catholic schoolgirls. And considering Seacrest has already dubbed Seattle the "land of confusion," we'd fight right in.
We've already been treated to plenty of stellar (read: awful) performances, including an Uncle Sam costume and equally unsuccessful Jennifer, who told Simon he listens to "back-country Englishman sheep stuff."
If that's true, auditioner Amy must be practicing the stuff of cows, because her version of Christina Aguilera's "Reflection" didn't wow Simon, either. She claimed to be sick, but Randy Jackson later diagnosed her as merely "tone deaf." On the plus side? She rocked some pretty hot painted eyebrows, and took the booting happily, claiming, "I'm a winner anyway, because I have a beautiful child and a beautiful family."
And if that understanding of reflections is as pleasing as Amy's audition, she certainly does have much to appreciate.
Finally...tonight's highlight so far has been Darwin Reedy, a walking version of Ugly Betty who really is ugly. Kind of like those Miss Nelson books you read in first grade. Imagine...thick glasses, platinum blond hair, flaming gold blouse, black skirt, tights and tennis shoes. And an almost identical mom.
So she sang "Don't Cha," with obviously poor results, but I'm guessing she'll almost definitely be back for the finale. Maybe even with her novella about singing competitions.
I'm not gonna lie...I do wish my girlfriend was hot like her.