MY PICKS. AGAIN.

Who's going home? My bets are Alaina Alexander and Haley Scarnato. Both were equally unmemorable. Enough said.
I figure Antonella earned another Vote for the Worst endorsement, plus the photo snafu will earn her pity votes for another week. The only other person I considered putting in my picks was Leslie Hunt, and honestly, I do think she's at risk. But I'll live dangerously and go with my first instinct.
The only other person I'm worried about? Jordin Sparks. Bland. But the tears directed toward her brother should earn her votes. Or a restraining order.
Send me your thoughts. See you Thursday.

ah, sabrina

10. Sabrina Sloan...she's inspired by her grandma. Again, nothing else to say.
Song: "He Builds Me Up"
Me: Sabrina is one of my favorite female contestants. And not just because her hair looks like mine. However, tonight she reminded me way too much of just another Whitney Houston wannabe. Kind of like the Beyonce phenomenon I discussed a couple posts ago.
Randy: "Very nice one overall."
Paula: "I just love you. You are fantastic."
Simon: "Don't confuse power with shouting."
Score: 8/10

two weird girls

8. Leslie Hunt...she's inspired by her grandpa. Not too much else to say about that.
Song: "Feeling Good"
Me: I really didn't need to hear this song again after AJ Tabaldo's burlesque version Tuesday. Honestly, I don't know what to think of Leslie. She's kind of like that girl in high school who wears bracelets made out of toothbrushes and eats weird vegan sandwiches for lunch. And it might be a little too hippie to when this competition when you're voice isn't super stellar. Or stellar at all.
Randy: "It was definitely a little bit on the pitchy side."
Paula: You're back in your element."
Simon: "You've just been whacked by three or four big voices before you."
6/10

9. Haley Scarnato...she's inspired by her fiance, even though he misses her and wants her to come home. Which may be a lot easier after tonight.
Song: "Queen of the Night"
Me: Haley is one of my least favorites, and I don't regret putting her in my bottom picks last week. She's nothing stellar. I really think we just got another cabaret act, only this time it was Whitney Houston-style.
Randy: "It wasn't that great for me."
Paula: "Leaps and bounds better than last week."
Simon: "It was a little bit manic verging on insane at one point."
Score: 5/10

bros and beyonce

6. Jordin Sparks...she finds inspiration in her brother. Keep reading for really creepy details.
Song: "Reflection"
Me: This performance is OK, but I'm sticking to my suspicion that Jordin will be gone relatively early. She lacks the vocal power, or outrageous personality, that ensures a contestant staying power. And also...was anyone else kind of wierded out when she started crying while thinking about her brother? Can you say Angelina Jolie syndrome?
Randy: "At 17 years old, where you are today is just unbelievable to me as a record producer."
Paula: "There's something about you that's infectious."
Simon: "It wasn't your best, but compared to a lot of other people, it was excellent."
Score: 7/10

7. Stephanie Edwards...she dedicated her performance to her mom and dad. Yawn.
Song: "Dangerously in Love"
Me: I like Stephanie. She lacks personality, but I like her. However, I hate Beyonce imitators, and that's what this song reminds me of. Some advice? Create your own idol. Don't imitate one.
Randy: "You sang your face off."
Paula: "I think so many people are going to be in love with Stephanie Edwards right now."
Simon: "I thought it was a terrific performance."
Score: 8/10

the moment you've been waiting for

...was pretty anticlimactic. So Antonella Barba hit the stage with absolutely NO mention of the dirty picks. but we did learn that she finds inspiration in her brother. Who hopefully lacks modem access.
Song: "Because You Loved Me"
Me: I love the '70s-inspired dress, but I'm kind of disappointed. I mean, I've never considered Antonella a good singer, but I secretly hoped she'd hit the stage and just stun us with some alter ego we would have never imagined. Instead, we got more blah. Very flat and boring. You get the picture.
Randy: "That song was completely the wrong song for you."
Paula: "You made leaps and bounds from last week."
Simon: "I thought you were worse than last week."
Score: 4/10

funny mel

4. Melinda Doolittle...she dedicated her song to her two close friends, a stylist and vocal coach. We also got to see how Melinda has a little book outlining the outfits she'll wear each night. Um, you kinda can't really tell all the time...
Song: "My Funny Valentine"
Me: OK, first and foremost, I think Melinda's overrated. I don't think she has enough personality, and as much as the judges praise her for being humble, I kind of wish she would show a little attitude once in a while. Come on, give us a reason to hate you. But she did well tonight. She's on par vocally, and I can't disagree with that.
Randy: "Melinda Doolittle came out here to win it...You are the one to beat."
Paula: "That was just astounding."
Simon: "That was incredible."
Score: 8.5/10

choo choo

3. LaKisha Jones...she's dedicating her performance to her grandma, who will turn 90 soon. And has really weird fashion sense.
Song: "Midnight Train to Georgia"
Me: I love this song, and I immediately knew LaKisha would do it justice. Like last week, she boasted another seemingly effortless performance. That said, I always just wish I could see her pull out something really crazy that makes me hate her less for being a belter.
Randy: "What I love is that you flipped it up from last week."
Paula: "I loved it and I love you."
Simon: "You are a phenomenally good singer." (BUT he criticized her wardrobe choice, along with Gina Glocksen's.)
Score: 8.5/10

more alaina. wow.

2. Alaina Alexander...she's inspired by her mom. Also known as su madre. She dedicates the song "100 percent" to her mom, as opposed to the other contestants who offered only 60 percent dedications. Losers.
Song: "Not Ready to Make Nice"
Me: You know how I feel about Alaina. Not my favorite contestant. Not at all. But I do think she looks really hot tonight. That said, she's not any better vocally. OK, maybe a little. Still, she's very off and flat at most times. Just nothing to write home about. Even to her madre.
Randy: "It started off good...when you went out for the chorus...the tuning, the pitch just went off."
Paula: "The pitch...was a little bit off."
Simon: "You ran out of steam three-quarters of the way."
Score: 5/10

how do i get u alone?

So we're back with the girls...meaning the night when we wait to find out how Antonella justifies her Internet snafu. Let's just say I'm not watching to see Leslie Hunt. Anyway, singers are supposed to name their inspirations again, and here's hoping I don't suffer from another fatal overdose of grandmas and moms and dads.

1. Gina Glocksen...she's inspired by her boyfriend, who dyed his hair red to support her. Aww. Good way to justify a bad run-in with a flask of Kool-Aid.
Song: "Alone"
Me: We're swimming in a sea of red with her red hair and matching dress. But here's my thing with Gina...she's all punk rock and untalented and kinda conceited, yet I always come away liking her. And tonight was no exception. It wasn't the best performance ever, but I got some sort of guilty fix out of it. Kind of like eating rock candy.
Randy: "By the middle of the song, you got it together."
Paula: "Great job."
Simon: "I'm a little confused as to who you are."
Score: 7/10

MY PICKS

OK, so we're all done. Half an hour early, courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy's new show. Which will last all of one week.
Now you want my picks for elimination. Here they are: Nick Pedro and Brandon Rogers. Why? Nick was in my picks last week, and I was sorry he didn't go home. He's boring and has no personality. He needs a niche audience and his rendition of "Fever" didn't do that this week.
And Brandon? His take on "Time After Time" was just awful, and I'm still a little agitated by his comment about how vocal performance doesn't matter as long as you're "feeling" the song. False. Sure, his shout-out to his grandma might score him some points, but I don't think his following is strong enough to make it really matter.
I realize these picks are somewhat risky, since they're clearly missing Sanjay Malakar. But here's the deal...I think he's going to maintain a cult following for at least another week. And I feel a Vote for the Worst endorsement coming on. Plus, his performance was so pitiful that he almost entered the realm of people voting for you just because they feel bad.
Another contender? Phil Stacey, who totally subjected himself to the curse of the first. But his performance was much more memorable than Rudy Cardenas', and I see a major military following here.
So I'm sticking with Nick Pedro and Brandon Rogers.
What do you guys think? What are your overall impressions of tonight's show?
Thanks for reading...see you for the Antonella Armageddon tomorrow.

ride sally, ride

10. Sundance...inspired by his son. And he "honestly really didn't think (he) would get this far in the competition." Gee...I wonder why.
Song: "Mustang Sally"
Me: Yikes. First, why is this song dedicated to his son? And what's up with his dancing? OK, now on to the real stuff...I guess he at least picked a better song this week. But his chest hair is still really distracting. But this performance is a lot better than what we saw last week. I'm impressed. Kind of.
Randy: "Wow, wow, wow. What a difference a week makes."
Paula: "You've got to bring it like that every week."
Simon: "I actually still think you can do better, I do. But it was a lot better."
Score: 7/10

a geek and a cyndi wannabe

8. Brandon Rogers...inspired by his grandma. Cool. I might start crying now.
Song: "Time After Time"
Me: Um, he kind of sounds awful. There's nothing really good about this performance. But he deserves mad props for pulling off a pink shirt. There's something really wrong here. It sounds like he's off the music.
Randy: "I don't think, dawg, it really did enough for you vocally to show what you've got."
Paula: "I felt your heart. You don't have to over-sing."
Simon: "All this 'I'm feeling it nonsense' doesn't work."
Score: 4/10

9. Chris Richardson...inspired by his grandma, who he also called his "Big Momma." Yeah.
Song: "Geek in Pink"
Me: Wow. Somebody is trying to be J-Tim. Or Blake Lewis. Seriously, I don't know what to think of him. Actually, I think he's one of the most vocally talented guys here. However, I wonder if choosing such a relatively unknown song will hurt him at all tonight. But overall, this is unique, energetic, fun...everything that a good performance is supposed to be. I'd say even slightly better than Blake.
Randy: "Chris is in it to win it tonight."
Paula: Some incoherent musing.
Simon: "For me, best tonight by a mile."
Score: 9.5/10

insane in the brain

7. Blake Lewis...his inspiration is his parents. Who kinda look like hippies. Yada, yada, yada.
Song: "Virtual Insanity"
Me: This is a weird song choice. YES!! He just beat boxed. This is, once again, a great performance. I can't decided if I liked last week's better, but I remain a huge Blake fan. You guys saw the blog post last week. I still think so far, he's the candidate with the most multi-faceted level of talent.
Randy: "Yo, baby...that's what I'm talking about...I like you, man."
Paula: "You're unique. There's no one else like you in this competition."
Simon: "I actually didn't see any originality from you this time...I was very disappointed in you this week."
Score: 9/10

vote for pedro?

6. Nick Pedro...he dedicated his performance to his girlfriend -- who's not as hot as Chris Sligh's wife -- as a Valentine's Day present. Um, that was so two weeks ago.
Song: "Fever"
Me: This is probably the worst Valentine's Day present you could ever receive. It's boring and way too slow. How could his girlfriend even like this? This is excruciating. That's largely because his personality is lacking. Hardcore. I don't even hate his voice. He just seems motionless.
Randy: "It was kind of nice, dude."
Paula: "I love your tone and your voice."
Simon: "I thought it was good...I felt you lacked charisma on it."
Score: 5/6

jack is back

5. Chris Sligh...his performance is dedicated to his wife, who is HOT. HOT, HOT, HOT. Like this is probably the one person in the world who is hotter than I am. If you can imagine that. How did he score her? Seriously. I'd appreciate your insights on this one.
Song: "Trouble"
Me: I love this performance. Seriously, it's amazing. I can't believe how much Chris has improved in a week. I guess putting yourself at odds with Simon will do that to you. But seriously...how hot is his wife???
Randy: "I wish all the boys would have done it like this last week."
Paula: "I liked it, too...You're real awesome."
Simon: "Tonight, you're a very good singer."
Score: 9/10

step out...and back in

4. Sanjaya Malakar...his inspiration is his grandpa. And he was rocking a major mullet as a youth.
Song: "Steppin' Out"
Me: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What's up with the Michael Jackson outfit? This sucks. This performance is just way too slow. And he's shaking his hips like a woman. I'm so happy this is over. Very anti-climactic. Is he even a good singer?
Randy: "This was really weird for me...this was not good."
Paula: Something about the song being too old for him
Simon: "It was like some ghastly lunch...where after lunch, your parents have asked the children to dress up and sing...I don't get why you did that."
Sanjaya's response? "I wanted to celebrate the great years of music."
Score: 4/10

succulent men. kind of.

So we're back with another week...this time, the personal sequence theme is naming your aspiration. And Jeff Foxworthy is in the audience. Awesome.

1. Phil Stacey...his inspiration? Membership in the military. And the heroes of "the September the 11th."
Song: "Missing You"
Me: Is it bad that I'm kind of wishing Phil didn't have a wife? Who was giving labor during his audition? Seriously, though, this is a pretty good performance...but it's driven primarily by Phil's likeability. It seems like he really reached his element at the end of the song, though.
Randy: "That was hot, Phil."
Paula: "I can hear you right now on the radio." (probably because you're hallucinating, Paula.)
Simon: "I think you're very popular...I think you have a completely unoriginal voice...I'm still not hearing anything unique."
Score: 6/10

2. Jared Cotter...he finds inspiration in his mom and dad, although I would have guessed Martin Scorsese. Looks like he stole his eyebrows.
Song: "Let's Get it On"
Me: Yes, I'll get it on with you. Totally. And did you guys see Sundance Head gyrating in the background? Anyway, this performance is kind of mediocre, with really no uniqueness. Until the end. Kind of. But again, not too many vocal challenges.
Randy: "I kind of liked it."
Paula: "That's the kind of song, though, that you don't have to push on. No pun intended."
Simon: "It did remind me, though, of the Loveboat."
Jared's comeback: "That would have been a good Loveboat, though."
Score: 5/10

3. AJ Tabaldo...inspiration from -- big surprise -- his parents. Let's get some creativity here, people.
Song: "Feeling Good."
Me: Whoa. This is like a really weird burlesque performance that I may or may not have seen in a Chippendale's video. That's OK, though, because believe it or not, I love this performance. Props to him for doing something different and making me like my once-least favorite contestant.
Randy: "It was so much better than last week."
Paula: "You have a real, real (times 16) good voice."
Simon: "That was actually nearly very good."
Score: 8/10

guys. who cares?

Let another turbulent week of "American Idol" semifinals begin. Tonight is guys' night and like most of the viewing public, I could really care less. Let's remember that virtually all of the men offered pretty lackluster performances last week. And even though I'm still rooting for Blake Lewis, odds are that this will be another season when divas reign supreme.

But more importantly, any AI viewer within 50 feet of a modem is likely more obsessed with the Antonella Barba scandal. To recap, provocative pics first surfaced online late last week, and new images are cropping up faster than potential fathers of Anna Nicole's daughter.

Now Antonella's childhood friend Amanda Coluccio (the one who auditioned with her on AI) has said the less racy photos are Antonella, but the really provocative ones aren't. Her evidence? Acrylic nail tips pictured in the pics, as well as a wrong nose. She says of Antonella, "She's the least slutty person I know." Read Coluccio's comments here.

Regardless of the validity of her friend's comments, you have to agree that this scandal is without a doubt the best thing that could have happened to not only Antonella Barba, but also AI itself. Producers have declined to comment at this point, probably because their only reaction is "thank God."

This is the stuff AI thrives on. As the show's talent credibility is constantly questioned -- especially in the aftermath of reject Jennifer Hudson's Oscar win -- it's the drama that repeatedly serves as a sure-fire way to keep viewers coming back for more.

Until now, this season didn't have any. We had a bunch of mediocre stars with equally mediocre personalities. It's sad when "drama" comes in the form of a Jack Osbourne wannabe insulting judge Simon Cowell with Il Divo references.

Because we, at least I, don't want to see flawlessness. We want to see real people, real mistakes and most of all, real vulnerability.

Needless to say, I can't wait for Wednesday's show. Can you?

blake is the coolest

Who is Blake Lewis? Who IS Blake Lewis? A comment in response to my most recent blog post spurred me to clarify my suspicion that this beat-boxer from Washington state has was it takes to win this season's competition.

Sure, I know it's too early to name a clear favorite, but so far Lewis, 25, is the only one who in my mind has conveyed the enigmatic uniqueness that I believe led singers like Taylor Hicks to win the competition in seasons past. Tuesday, he wowed us -- at least me -- with his rendition of Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know," sans beat boxing. And while some viewers might argue his time on the stage hardly rivaled that of female belters like LaKisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle, I disagree.

Here's the thing about Lewis: he doesn't represent a CD we can already buy. Sure, his looks resemble that of an O-Town reject or J-Tim wannabe...traits that initially made me discard him as a prime contender. But his decision to ditch the beat box, and choose a song outside the pop genre, changed my mind. Maybe I'm speaking prematurely...but I think this guy knows how the competition works. He's already made serious headways in showing his talent is multi-faceted and not confined to traditional boy band cliches. Meanwhile, I still have serious doubts that Melinda OR LaKisha's talent can translate into, say, country night.

So who is Blake Lewis? In short, he's one to watch.

(Disclaimer: This post is in no way motivated by a crush. We'd likely have nothing but a Gnarls Barkley CD in common. Just check his answers to the obligatory "Idol" questionnaire. My favorite? When asked of his toughest obstacle in life, Lewis responded, "The obstacles of life." Genius.)

you're gonna love me

OK, so you'll have to endure a weekend without Blake Lewis, but I'll promise you the next best thing: me. That's right, I'll be offering fashion commentary about Sunday's Academy Awards in a blog updated live throughout the show. Rapid-fire entries will start once the evening's red carpet coverage begins. I promise it'll be better than anything you'd expect out of Joan OR Melissa Rivers.
So visit the blog and weigh in with your comments on the night's best- and worst-dressed lists. I can't wait for all your fashionably loud insights.
Have a great weekend!

buxom barba

More trouble for New Jersey contestant Antonella Barba. Vote for the Worst has now posted photos that appear to depict Antonella enjoying a "Girls Gone Wild"-inspired spring break vacation. In fact, the provocative photos have circulated all over the Internet, and my Google search just seconds ago yielded a new crop of images, and speculation that if eliminated, Barba could pose for a whole slew of men's magazines, including Playboy.
Before you get too excited, let me weigh in with my insights on the photos. This is coming from a girl who is well-versed in the art of Internet photography. Trust me.
If you're expecting something really graphic, you'll be disappointed. Basically what we have are shots of her grinding on other girls, as well as half-nudity and pics of her holding alcohol. (Barba, 20, attends the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C.)
I can't say I'm expecting any sort of scandal to come out of this one. Sure, we already have the inevitable rumors that she'll resign/be eliminated. I can't see either of these options happening. If anything, the drama will help this vocally questionable contestant.
But this does raise a good point. To what exent -- if any -- is the Idol supposed to represent a moral compass? Does the winner represent good singing alone, or should he or she offer some statement of good character as well?
Do you have problems voting for a candidate with a tarnished past? How about a candidate who's a single mom or dad?
Send me your thoughts.

trial by dial?

Is three nights of AI too much, or is it just me? I mean...think about it...that's almost as much time as the average person works a day. Unbelievable.
Anyway, I've (kind of) recovered from my FOX-induced hangover, and I'm bright and chipper with a few more insights on Thursday's eliminations.
I Google "American Idol" daily in hopes of bringing you guys the most accurate information possible, and I have to admit I'm astounded by how many sites have already pegged LaKisha Jones this season's winner.
Those bets are way too premature. Let's remember that we've seen just one -- ONE, people -- round of semifinals. One powerful performance (characterized primarily by belting) does not ensure success. Sure, Simon praised LaKisha, but as much as I appreciate his judgment, he's not always the most accurate barometer of long-term victory.
Simon once rejected season five winner Taylor Hicks, and initially couldn't even remember Kelly Clarkson's name. Also, in season four he called contestant Nadia Turner something like "a steak in a field of hamburgers." Nadia went on to be eliminated shortly thereafter, and has virtually vanished from fans' attention. Think about it.
On a broader note, I'm interested in how the voting actually broke down this week. The Web site DialIdol lets fans download free software to speed dial vote for their favorite contestants on popular reality TV shows. It also claims it has the capacity to track AI's busy signals with 87 percent accuracy.
That said, the site recently unveiled what it claims to be the breakdown of this week's votes. Check out their alleged standings and form your own conclusions.
The summary? In order of popularity, it ranks LaKisha Jones, Antonella Barba and Melinda Doolittle as the top female vote-getters. Top men, in order of popularity, include Sundance Head, Sanjaya Malakar and Chris Richardson (aka: Justin Timberlake).
The site's accuracy on eliminations is a little more difficult to gauge, as they group multiple contestants as being subject to the boot.
I'm a little skeptical of the standings, but I'd like to know what you guys think. Does anyone wish that each week Seacrest would just name the Top 12 in order of popularity?

thoughts on tonight's eliminations

So how did I do? I predicted two eliminations correctly out of four. Fifty percent. I could have done better.
That said, I do have a few impressions about tonight's four losers:
1. Paul Kim...honestly, this one surprised me. Sure, his performance wasn't stellar, but I thought he'd be one to advance simply by representing something different, bare feet and all. In the end, I think his demise came from not plugging his uniqueness more overtly. I am sad to see him go, though.
2. Amy Krebs...same explanation. Lack of personality aside, I think her biggest flaw came in choosing a slow song for the first round of semifinals. You just really can't do that. 'Nuff said.
3. Nicole Tranquillo...I hate to submit to an AI cliche, but her elimination is 99.9 percent about song choice. I'm with Paula...Nicole's voice never bothered me. But who devotes round one to a relatively unknown Chaka Khan song? She likely would have been safe even if she opted for "I Feel for You." Listen, people...never underestimate the power of sing-alongs.
4. Rudy Cardenas...this is Exhibit A in the case for the curse of the first. If you're the first singer, you better bring it with something outstanding. Like Stephanie in the women's round this week. But if you don't...people will forget you. People will tune in late and not see you. People will turn the TV off before your recap appears. Remember that for next time, Rudy.
And there you go. Thoughts? Upsets? Write back with feelings and predictions.

curse of the first

OK, 8:53 p.m. and it's time for another male elimination. The front line comes forward, and I have a last-minute urge to change my prediction to Sanjaya Malikar. But that's not allowed.
My urge increases as the line is narrowed to Sanjaya and Rudy Cardenas. Then, Seacrest informs us that one of them is the huge loser, while the other is within the top four vote-getters. Wow...that in itself is amazing. Did anyone expect EITHER of these guys to be a crowd favorite?
Finally, Rudy is sent home. Score. I never lost doubt in that fact.
Then, we get a power sequence of the four losers, set against a backdrop of what may or may not be the new failure song. I think it may be by Daughtry, but don't quote me on that.
And Rudy gets to perform just in time to be cut off by the end credits.

tranquil goodbye?

OK, I recovered from the Fantasia performance just in time for another elimination. At 8:45 p.m. Front row of women. Fast forward to the last two: Alaina and Nicole Tranquillo.
I crossed my fingers, praying Alaina would be out so she could go have a blissful relationship with Ryan Seacrest. False. Nicole Tranquillo is going home.
But the best part of the whole thing? Midway through Nicole's farewell performance, there was a brief movement by some of the girls to come on the stage and start dancing with her. Then, almost instantly, they were totally denied. De-nied.
And then the girls talked about it. While Nicole was still performing.
Awesome.

fill fill fill fill

Finally...the filler time I've been waiting for all night. First, we get a plug for the "American Idol Challenge," some random cell phone game in which you could win $10,000.
But in an even bigger filler sequence, we get a performance by Fantasia Barrino. She's plugging her role in "The Color Purple." Maybe that's why Quincy Jones, who Seacrest actually cut off, was in the audience.
Anyway, Fantasia's performance is kind of anticlimactic, and I have serious qualms about her dress. Let's just say AI is no place for a strategically placed chest tattoo. And that means you too, Sanjay.
Stay tuned.

you can't make us love you

Wow. It's 8:23 and we're already treated to another elimination. Amazing. This time, Seacrest brings the back row of women to the stage. Again, it contains mainly standouts, and eventually dwindles down to just Melinda Doolittle and Antonella Barba.
Then, for a brief shining moment, I kind of suspected Melinda would be gone. You know, the whole "she's so good I don't need to vote for her" scenario. Of course, that didn't happen, and it's slightly implied that Antonella will go.
But finally Ryan pulls out his trademark trickery and informs us that Antonella is actually safe. And, without hesitation, he calls Amy Krebs to the stage and tells her she's going home.
So awkward, but we saw it coming. You don't sing a slow song, much less one that tells the audience that you can't make them love you, in the first round of semifinals.
Enough said.

peace out paul

OK, looks like I overestimated the amount of time we'd have to wait before the first elimination. At just 8:13 Ryan Seacrest brought the entire second row of men on stage and said one was going home.
The row was comprised primarily of standouts like Blake Lewis, but it did include Nick Pedro, who was among my bets to go home. Of course, Sundance Head was there, too, but I'm going to stick with my suspicion that he will for weeks maintain a cult following. Plus, he has the Vote for the Worst vote.
Anyway, when it got down to Blake and barefoot Paul Kim, I really had no hope for Paul. OK, that's not true. I actually thought Seacrest was going to pull some trickery and say NOBODY in the back row was going home and the eliminated contestant was actually in the front row.
False. Paul got the boot with pretty much zero tact, and of course got the obligatory "at least you made it this far" from the judges. His problem? He chose a song that was "too big," according to the panel.
Then, we got the goodbye performance and that was that. Peace out.

and here we go

So essentially the question tonight is how many minutes will elapse before we even get remotely close to revealing the bottom four. Right now it's 8:10 and all we have to show for our viewing experience is the judges' consensus that the men pretty much failed this week. Wow. Thanks.
Slightly more interesting was mention of some of the guest judges this season, including celebrities like Gwen Stefani, J-Lo, Diana Ross and John Bon Jovi. My favorite pick of the litter? The guy from Herman's Hermit, but only because I remember when they performed at the El Dorado County Fair.
Oh, but there's something even better. We were treated to a 24-person performance of Tears for Fears' "Sowing the Seeds of Love." Um, yeah. You can imagine how that went. Imagine what would happen if the Brady Bunch had 18 more kids.

does talent matter?

During Wednesday's viewing party of the first round of women's semifinals, I made a casual observation that when it comes to AI, it's not at all about talent.
I thought it was a straightforward fact, knowledge that certainly came with watching five full seasons of upsets and victories. Some of my viewing partners, however, disagreed almost instantly, saying that talent has to reign supreme in the reality show's overall equation.
I still don't think that's true.
Don't get me wrong -- I'd be the last one to say all "Idol" contestants lack talent. In fact, I've seen at least one song rendition per season that I wish would have been recorded by the contestant rather than the million-albums-sold original artist.
But here's the thing: knowing AI's mechanics, as well as the outcomes of seasons past, I don't know how anyone could say this is a talent competition. First, look at the auditions alone. The fact that in the very preliminary stages, good singers are actually passed on so enough TV-worthy losers can make it to the auditions should say something in itself.
Still not convinced? Consider the dynamics that feed into voting. The prevalence of Web sites like Vote for the Worst indicates people aren't always interested in rooting for the next Whitney Houston. Sure, contestants like Scott Savol and Jasmine Trias didn't go on to win the big shebang, but they garnered enough votes to give the boot to hopefuls with much better voices.
AI is about marketability. I don't know how you could argue otherwise. That's why, even though I won't deny that Melinda Doolittle and Lakisha Jones are talented, I'm far from sure they'll win the competition. Just consider past belters like LaToya London, Tamyra Gray and Jennifer Hudson. People want uniqueness. Just think how superstar Mandisa's talent didn't translate into country week last season -- which was, coincidentally, the week she got eliminated.
Ruben Studdard won with an ongoing persona as the "Velvet Teddy Bear." Taylor Hicks won as the fearless leader of Soul Patrol. Carrie Underwood won because we'd never had a country Idol. Fantasia won because her raspy voice, and single-mom story, translated into uniqueness.
And Kelly Clarkson? Kelly Clarkson won, but really only achieved success once she distanced herself from the AI brand. Think of "Since U Been Gone," perhaps her best-known hit yet. Without a doubt, it's markedly different from "A Moment Like This," the sappy sound with which AI producers wanted us to identify her.
In short, Clarkson only became an Idol once she turned anti-idol.
Is there talent in these ranks? Sure. But is it talent that's any different from their 11 counterparts in each season? Maybe not.
These Idols and other contestants -- like last season's Kellie Pickler, who won my heart when she called her fake eyelashes "tarantulas" -- were talented, but separated themselves from the pack only by setting their personalities to a different key.
Let me know what you think.

the end...kind of

So we made it through another two hours. Or at least I did. Hopefully you didn't even have to watch the show since you had easy access to such a detailed blog.
My bets for elimination? First, and perhaps most definitely, Alaina Alexander is gone. Totally. Pick two is slightly more difficult, since I think there were some clearly bad performances, but also some good performances that were accompanied by absolutely no personality. So I'm going with Haley Scarnato. She just wasn't memorable enough, and lacked the charisma to make up for it.
My backup? Amy Krebs. Her performance was way too slow. And, consequently, not memorable.
Do you agree? Disagree? Drop me a note with your input. Goodnight.

i'm not going

12. Lakisha Jones...remember, she's a single mom who works at a bank. Enough said.
Song: "And I am Telling You (I'm Not Going)"
Me: Fabulous. She's very good, and of course we expected that from her. I'm not surprised at all. I just wish her lip gloss wasn't sticking to her hair.
Randy: "I do love you...You laid it out on that stage."
Paula: "You have so much to be proud of."
Simon: "That's the right note...That was in a different league to anything I heard."
Score: 9/10

not really that special

10. Alaina Alexander...we're reminded that she works at a pizzeria.
Song: "Make You Notice" or "Special" or whatever it's called
Me: I really like this song, because I used to always sing it on karaoke. Still, I don't really like this performance. I never really liked Alaina in the first place, and this performance just reaffirms my belief that she doesn't belong here. She's annoying and totally out of her league.
Randy: Just didn't like it
Paula: "You didn't go for it."
Simon: "I thought actually it was a mess."
Score: 3/10

11. Gina Glockson...we learned last time, she was trying to be something that she wasn't.
Song: "All by Myself"
Me: She reminds me of Nikki McKibbin in her early days, only a way better vocalist. As much as I hate her, there's something kind of endearing about her that makes me keep coming back for more. What can I say? I'm smitten.
Randy: "That was kind of nice."
Paula: "It was the right song to sing tonight."
Simon: "I don't think you hit the big note."
Score: 7/10

more aretha

9. Melinda Doolittle...backup singer, remember?
Song: "Since You Been Gone," Aretha Franklin
Me: She kind of looks like a troll. True. But she really doesn't sing like one. All in all, I'm pretty impressed. I'm glad she moved out of her role as a backup singer.
Randy: "You came out there, sung, blew it out the box."
Paula: "You are a front runner."
Simon: "You are an incredible singer...I really hope you do well."
Score: 8.5/10

not like celine

8. Haley Scarnato...I just remembered her"hoochie outfit." She doesn't want to
Song: "It's All Coming Back to Me"
Me: Um, it looks like she's wearing lingerie. Bad outfit. Everything she's worn has been black so far. Maybe she's afraid of color. Anyway, the performance was OK, but really not unique at all. And I wish we would have heard something we didn't hear during Hollywood week.
Randy: "It was just OK for me, really."
Paula: "I think you did a nice job."
Simon: "Everything about you tonight was old."
Score: 5/10

i feel for you

7. Nicole Tranquillo...she's a voice major who prefers to get no sleep.
Song: Something by Chaka Khan
Me: I don't really like the faces she's making, and her singing is very flat. Honestly...it sounds like she's talking. Her parents are the only ones rocking out. This performance just seems way too long. Way too long.
Randy: "It wasn't really working for me."
Paula: "I don't know how many people can hit the notes that Nicole just hit...It may not be the right song, but you can sing."
Simon: "It looked unnatural, it looked fake...It was indulgent, I didn't like it at all."
Score: 6/10

i'll give you a reason

6. Jordin Sparks...at 17, she's the youngest woman here. We're reminded that Simon called her "too sugary sweet." And I don't really like her dancing.
Song: "Give Me One Reason," Tracy Chapman
Me: This is OK, but for some reason she seems kind of distant from the song. The final high note was awesome, but she seemed to lack uniqueness during the majority of the song.
Randy: "I don't think there's any song too big for you, so go there."
Paula: "It was fun."
Simon: "It was a very typical, sweet audition...Push yourself, you may surprise a few people in this competition."
Score: 7/10

bye-bye barba

4. Sabrina Sloan...allegedly a "professional singer." Maybe. We also saw Simon tell her she would need "the best song in the world to make it through to the next round."
Song: "Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You)," Aretha Franklin
Me: Pretty good, but my favorite part is her hair because it really looks like mine. Performance-wise, this is great, but I really like Stephanie better.
Randy: "That's the way to put it down...That was hot."
Paula: "Standing ovation."
Simon: "That performance...probably is the best one so far."
Score: 8/10

5. Antonella Barba...we're reminded about her efforts to audition with her best friend, Amanda. She calls her "Idol journey" a "roller coaster."
Song: "Don't Want to Miss a Thing," Aerosmith
Me: I don't really like her at all. Which is funny, because I initially did. She's not good. She sounds very flat. This is awful. Her voice is like reverberating or something.
Randy: "It wasn't good...it was really pitchy, it was really bland."
Paula: "You had some pitch problems."
Simon: "It didn't work. It was way, way, way too big for you."
Score: 4/10

natural women?

2. Amy Krebs...she's ready to deal with "the good, the bad and the ugly." That probably
Song: "I Can't Make You Love Me," Bonnie Raitt
Me: This is pretty good, except I think it's kind of lacking energy. It's nothing like Stephanie's performance, though. My thing? It doesn't really sound any different than the original version. No personality. No uniqueness.
Randy: "It was kind of a boring song for you."
Paula: "I am going to have to agree with Randy...I felt like you pushed for it."
Simon: "I still can't remember you...When you sing, you have the personality of a candle...Everything at the moment is forgettable."
Score: 4/10

3. Leslie Hunt...professional dog walker. Eww...we just saw Paula's dog imitation. So much for never being drunk in your entire life.
Song: "Natural Woman," Aretha Franklin
Me: I don't really like this. Here's my thing: I think you can't sing "Natural Woman" on AI without being compared to Kelly Clarkson. And she's no Kelly Clarkson. I don't really like her dancing, either.
Randy: "I was hoping for definite greatness."
Paula: "Watch the songs that you pick."
Simon: "You look embarrassed and ungainly when you perform."
Score: 5/10

i'm going to call...really

1. Stephanie Edwards...we learn that during auditions, she was "pretty much discouraged." What a selling point. Fortunately, her parent
Song: "How Come You Don't You Call," Alicia Keys
Me: I totally love this song. Probably because I'm always waiting for guys to call me and they never do. Anyway, this performance is great. I love it. And, even though I just gave one of my viewing partners a hard time, this marked a HUGE difference between the boys and the girls. Girls rule.
Randy: "I was like...whoa."
Paula: "What a performer you are...You are a star. My God."
Simon: "You were a million times better than any performance we saw last night."
Score: 9/10

girl power

So, like last night, we're 10 minutes into the show and have yet to see an actual performance. No major surprise. Hopefully the action will kick off soon, though.
As usual, feel free to weigh in with your comments throughout the show. Hey...it's two hours. What else are you going to do during the commercial breaks?

1-866-COMMENT

OK, so what did you think? How did this round compare to semifinals of seasons past? Please, hit me up with comments. I'll even have a prize for anyone who identifies the most song titles I didn't identify correctly.
My predictions? I think Rudy's definitely going home. The second slot is a tough one, but I'm going to give it to Nick Pedro. Second bet? AJ Tabaldo.
Agree? Disagree? Send me your thoughts. Please.

daughtry part 2?

12. Phil Stacey...let's rehash the story about his wife being in labor during his audition. And he really worked hard since then. Or so he claims.
Song: These are the Moments
Me: Is it just me, or is he a wannabe Chris Daughtry? The song started off kind of slowly, but I really liked it once the tempo picked up. Nothing amazing, though.
Randy: "You get the best vocal prize of the night."
Paula: "Man, you just opened up and you were right on pitch."
Simon: "I don't think it was necessarily the best vocal...I think it was OK."
*Ryan just dubbed Phil's shaved head "the Britney Spears haircut." He's sooo funny.*

welcome back...

10. Jared Cotter...looks like he got fired from his waiter job to try out for AI. Clearly, he lost a very prosperous career. He wants to "really introduce himself" to us.
Song: Back at One
Me: Welcome back, Cotter. He is soooo hot. Just stating the obvious. Stellar dance moves. And sexy eyebrows. All in all, this is great. Kind of safe, but great. Right now, we really want him to take his shirt off. Just saying. Still, though, technically...this performance is kind of lacking. A little mediocre.
Randy: "I didn't like the way it ended...It was all right."
Paula: "I feel like there's more to you."
Simon: "It was a very unadventurous performance, really...You look good...I think you've got to take a few more risks than that."
Score: 6/10

11. AJ Tabaldo...remember, this is his fifth time trying out. Yeah.
Song: All My Love
Me: Um, nice dance moves. Not. OK, now we know what happened his first four times trying out. Really, I shouldn't be that harsh. He's not that bad. Pretty high-energy, in fact.
Randy: "It was pretty good, man...I don't know if you brought anything new to it."
Paula: "You can definitely sing...You need to go for it more."
Simon: "I count that as kind of a theme park performance."
Score: 6/10

breaking the spell?

9. Chris Sligh...also known as Jack Osbourne. He said he's looking forward to singing "Do I Make You Proud?" Um, yeah.
Song: Break the Spell...OK, that's just what I think it's called. Maybe it's called "Anything but Typical."
Me: This is really good. I think I like Blake better, but this performance is all high-energy and stuff. Plus, I think Chris has enough personality to pull him through a very, very long way.
Randy: "It's all good because your voice was on point."
Paula: "You had a great time."
Simon: "I agree your humor's got you here...I kind of felt I was at some weird student gig."
*Note: Chris just gave some weird retort about singing Il Divo and Teletubbies, and made Simon feel "very uncomfortable." Simon looks so mad right now. I've never seen him like this. It's like he was just forced to sit through a Bo Bice concert. Looks like Simon can dish it out, but he can't take it.
Score: 7/10

GED is BAD

8. Sanjaya Malakar...first, we learn that he just got his GED. Random. Then, we're reminded that his sister was booted from the competition in Hollywood. She's kind of hotter than he is.
Song: Something about being knocked off your feet..."I love you, I love you, I love you." A Stevie Wonder song.
Me: I hated this performance. I never really liked Sanjaya, and this just reaffirmed his apparent lack of personality. I'm sorry...but this really did nothing for me. Meanwhile, my viewing partner is going crazy. She loved it. So what do I know?
Randy: "I didn't think it was very good...It was really bad."
Paula: "I wish more of your personality and more force came through in your performance."
Simon: "It was without question the most dreary performance we've had all night...For me, that's what I call a waste of time performance."
Score: 4/10

bye-bye beat box

7. Blake Lewis...remember, he's the beat-boxer. Cool. Fortunately, "you haven't heard the last of the beat-boxing." Except kind of you have...since he didn't beat box tonight.
Song: Somewhere Only We Know...Keane
Me: I love this song. OK, maybe not only because Blake is singing it, but it's still a great song. Overall, though, I kind of love this performance. Good job. This is my favorite performance of the night, even though his high notes seem slightly off. Blake is very hot.
Randy: "I kind of dug it, man...I do miss the beat-boxing."
Paula: "We saw a different side of you...your vocals were spot on."
Simon: "You are the first person who's come out tonight and actually sounded like someone in 2007. By far, the best performance we've had tonight."
Score: 8/10

now and forever?

6. Nick Pedro...remember, he's the one who forgot the lyrics to "Build Me Up Buttercup" last year. He wants to feel like a winner. He got all teary but we really didn't understand anything he said.
Song: Now and Forever...at least that's what I think it is
Me: This is really disappointing. Imagine one of the unknown members of 98 Degrees singing a solo. Way too slow. Vocals are OK, but this song is much too boring for its own good.
Randy: "I don't know, dawg...it wasn't good for me, dawg. It was really, really boring."
Paula: "It just kind of fell flat."
Simon: "I actually didn't think it was that bad, actually...I think you're definitely back next week."
Score: 5/10

gotta have faith

4. Paul Kim...we learned he tried out for AI because he's "getting old." Twenty-five whopping years. Imagine that. Oh, and he always performs in bare feet. Wow.
Song: That song about never dancing again unless I dance with you.
Me: I'm warming up to him as the performance goes on, but he lacked energy at first. OK, I really don't like this performance at all. It's just way too stiff and...I'm pulling a Randy/Paula/Simon here...pitchy.
Randy: "I don't know if I loved this song on you...I still like your potential."
Paula: "You kind of over-sang the song."
Simon: Criticized his bare feet..."I just thought it was a very ordinary attempt to copy George Michael...You've got to come out here and wow and you're not wowing."
Score: 4/10
*Note: Ryan Seacrest just showed up on the stage in bare feet. Hot.*

5. Chris Richardson...such a Justin Timberlake wannabe..."I take it as a compliment," he said of the comparisons to the star. He's trying to be an individual, yada, yada, yada. He just wants to "rock out."
Song: I Don't Wanna Be...Gavin DeGraw
Me: I think it's pretty good, but I have to say I'm kind of captivated by the J-Tim resemblance. Is that bad? He sings like J-Tim, too. Thank God for some energy in the competition...finally. Did I mention he looks like Justin Timberlake? Oh, and he's way cuter than his parents, but he's really not that cute. (That comment came from my viewing partner.)
Randy: "I feel like the show just started right here."
Paula: "Great arrangement...It was a lot of fun. Way to go."
Simon: "I thought your voice sounded very small in that song...I thought it was a bad vocal, personally."
Score: 8/10

king of pop, king of flop

2. Brandon Rogers...his personal sequence reveals his success in Hollywood, and reminds us of his former -- maybe -- role as a background singer.
Song: "Rock With You"
Me: Stellar, but only because I'm partial to the King of Pop. Overall, the performance is high energy, but some of the low notes seem a bit off. His upper register (I feel so cool saying that) is awesome though. Start of the song was better than the conclusion.
Randy: "It was definitely a little pitchy...you don't have to do 'so much' with the song."
Paula: Less background runs
Simon: "It was just a very, very safe and predictable song to do."
Score: 7/10

3. Sundance Head...we're reminded that Simon predicted his success, but he essentially failed miserably in Hollywood. And we learned he had an "emotional breakdown" in Hollywood.
Song: Something involving white knights and "yes I love you."
Me: I don't really like this. OK, I hate it. Where's the guy who auditioned? This performance is way too slow. What a downer. Let's just say that when your name is Sundance, you need to make us happy. I've never seen such an awful transformation.
Randy: "I don't even think you were on pitch the whole song."
Paula: "I think you picked the wrong song."
Simon: "You've gone right off since we first saw you...Tonight you were like dad at a wedding...Very old-fashioned, very uninspiring...I didn't like you tonight."
Score: 3/10

no such thing as a free ride?

1. Rudy Cardenas...we're treated to the obligatory personal sequence, during which we're reminded Simon initially rejected him. And informed that he eats a lot of Ramen and mac and cheese.
Song: "Free Ride"
Me: Very reminiscent of Clay Aiken's early days, with the addition of a LOT more off-key notes and one too many "woo-hoos." Fun, energetic, but lacking stellar vocal ability. Um appearance...is he related to Pee-Wee Herman?
Randy: "Really, really corny."
Paula: "I thought you started off fantastic."
Simon: "I've never heard you do anything which is unique."

Score (out of 10): 5

semifinals, round one

It's five minutes into the show...and we have yet to see an actual performance. We were, however, reminded who the judges are, and how tonight's 12 contestants "got here." As if we forgot the seemingly endless rounds of auditions we sat through.
Anyway, as usual, I'll be updating live throughout the show, so feel free to weigh in with your comments pre- and post-show. Here's hoping tonight meets our expectations.

two's company

And now the dramatic finale. Two spots left...one boy, one girl. Four finalists left...two boys, two girls. Seacrest informs us that each pair is going to approach the judges together, but only one member of each pair will survive. Insert dramatic pause here.
So the girls are up first...unknown Marisa and Antonella, one-half of the former BFF pair. Of course, we get the obligatory memory sequence showing Marisa nail her performance and Antonella butcher her lyrics. Which obviously means Antonella will make it through. True. That's exactly what happened.
Then we cue to the awkward elevator trip back to the finalist area. Uncomfortable.
Next up? Curly-haired Tommy and old, hairy Sundance Head. Again...we see Tommy be stellar and Sundance be awful. Who makes it through? Sundance, who proceeds to tell Tommy that if he wins, Tommy can be his bodyguard. Great. Looks like he already has the celebrity finesse skills.
Then, we end with the obligatory dance sequence showcasing all 24 finalists. I have to note one of my viewing partners mistook the female dance sequence for stripper auditions. Not far from the truth. Seriously.
With that, we enter the semifinals. Get ready. Any early predictions?

alaina, alaina, alaina

I'm ecstatic. We didn't even have to wait until the semifinals to get a filler promotional product placement sequence. This time, it was plugging "The Simpsons' Movie," and we got to see all the kids watch a TRAILER -- a TRAILER -- of the movie. Clearly, they're getting the celebrity treatment. I can't wait for the Ford commercials.
Oh, side note...forgive me for any missed details. One of my viewing partners just temporarily broke the TV. We're journalists, not electricians.
But back to the "in" crowd...we now have AJ, who tried out for AI five times. And who says persistence doesn't pay off? I have to admit, most of the finalists are pretty unknown. But I still have my gripes. One word: Alaina. First, she was wearing a giant sweater. Second, she wasn't good. Let's just say this already reinforces my move for the audience to vote people OFF, rather than on. See a future blog post on this topic soon.
On a more positive note...you know who's hot? Finalist Jared Cotter. Welcome back, Cotter. Mmmmmmm.
I'm also proud single mom Lakisha is advancing, in spite of the fact that she's a total Fantasia wannabe. I'll humor her through semifinals, but I'm hoping she won't advance too far.
I can't say I'm incredibly disappointed about any of the eliminations, although I was surprised to see some random chick named Princess get the boot. I guess AI isn't about royalty after all. Or, perhaps more accurately, Paula's the only one who can drunkenly don a tiara.

and here we go

So we're on our way to the big time. Members of the elusive Top 24 are being revealed slowly, and with plenty of useless personal sequences and Seacrest commentary. Just the way I like it.
Anyway, so far the "in" crowd -- those who got a "yes" -- has some standouts, including the brother half of the brother/sister duo. His sis was eliminated Tuesday. The Top 24 also has former backup singers Melinda Doolittle and Brandon Rodgers. Also getting an OK? Gina, the quasi-goth chick who has a crush on Simon. Oh, and remember "hoochie outfit" girl from auditions...Haley? Totally in. We can also look forward to seeing more of Phil, whose wife was giving labor while he auditioned, and Chris Sligh, the Jack Osbourne wannabe. And don't forget beat-box Blake and Latin stallion Rudy.
But tonight isn't without its share of disappointments, even though those eliminated so far have been mostly unknowns. So far, the most memorable boot has been handed to Anna Kerns, the freakishly tall chick.
Looks like size doesn't matter after all.

mentor in the mirror

Ladies and gentlemen, put on your single white gloves.
Rumors of a Michael Jackson cameo on AI are moving faster than the King of Pop's plastic surgery bills. Today, this article says Jackson will reportedly have a mentor role in a theme week this season. If that won't pave the way for the winner's success, what will?
Seriously, though...even if I'm opposed to the whole mentorship thing, I would definitely enjoy a week of MJ-themed performances. Especially if someone named Diana got to sing "Dirty Diana." Awesome.
We'll have to wait for confirmation on the Michael Jackson rumors, but we'll finally have some closure on the elusive Top 24 tonight. Some 20 contestants will be cut, setting the foundation for viewers' chance to vote next week.
Tonight's show starts at 9/8c. As usual, check the blog for live updates throughout the show.
Until then, beat it.

it's not a family affair

Amanda wasn't the only one to go home tonight, though. As the show ended, judges divided contestants into three 20-person rooms, and eliminated one room entirely. Remember the sister half of the brother/sister duo? Gone.
All in all, I'm a little foggy on who's sticking around, and I wish the tornado warning wouldn't have interrupted Perla's performance. Feel free to update me if you live in a non-tornado zone. Please.
So tomorrow, we're narrowing 40-something to 24. This is the big time. In Seacrest's words...who has what it takes? Did I miss any major standouts tonight?
See you Wednesday.

bring out the claws

Why aren't you talented? Because God only likes good people.
At least that's what contestant Amanda said. Remember Amanda and Antonella, the Paris Hilton lookalikes who are best friends? They advanced to the group round, and then added country girl Baylie to their group.
First, bad decision. Two words: third wheel. Anyway, they pick "This Old Heart of Mine," which is clearly a perfect choice since none of them knew the words. Then, they take a break out of frustration, during which Amanda hangs out with a boy group.
So the next day, they hit the stage and Baylie butchers the words entirely. Then Amanda butchers the words partially. Antonella, however, offers a fairly decent performance. Baylie gets eliminated, and is later confronted by the two remaining members.
That's when we get "God likes good people," and an accusation that Baylie spent the last night flirting.
Take it from pop prophet Justin Timberlake, Amanda. What goes around comes around. Amanda was eliminated the next day and Antonella is all that remains. Thanks for the cat fights, girls.

rock me like a hurricane

OK, maybe we can't expect a Ruben/Clay-inspired finale after all. It's tough to see which male contestants are advancing, although we do know that hair-heavy favorite Sundance Head is a go. He made it past the first audition cut in Hollywood, and then got another OK in spite of butchering his lyrics in the group round.
But remember Jarrod? A military idol somewhere? Big no for him. Please go back to defending our country.
Ah, the group round...this is where we see the good old-fashioned drama. It's also were boy band wannabe Matt got cut. He got an OK during the first phase, then tearfully called his mom, who allegedly told him "I love you" for the first time.
Unfortunately, he forgot his lyrics during the group round and was denied. Of course, he called his mom afterward. With mixed results. Let's just say love means never having to say "I'm sorry."
SIDE NOTE: A tornado warning just interrupted our viewing process, so forgive me for the five minutes left out of this blog. And, um, since when do storms beat hearing another bad rendition of a Stevie Wonder classic? Just wondering.

girls just wanna have fun?

Is another Clay/Ruben-inspired finale in the works this season? From the looks of Hollywood's female contestants, maybe. Tonight's Hollywood round kicked off with six-person group of girls getting the boot, including curly-haired Jory, a Canadian contestant I rooted for early this season. Oh well.
Fortunately, Jory's elimination was followed by...CHARO!!! Yes, Perla's back, this time with her own power sequence pumping her Shakira-esque personality. We got to see her in an airport posing for fan pictures. Watch out, William Hung.
Anyway, Perla got the OK, with a "personality over talent" disclaimer from Simon. That, of course, was followed by the inevitable tears. At least her hips still don't lie.
But hey...it could have been worse. She could have been Rachel, the Army chick who kissed her boyfriend's picture during the auditions but got a "no" in Hollywood. Also booted? "Rocky" workout chick Porcelana, daddy issues Sarah and Ashlyn, who got a second chance from Simon in the initial phase.
Kind of disappointing. I thought she'd get farther, considering how much Seacrest hyped her audition drama.
Also denied? Nicole Turner. I don't think we'd seen her before, but tonight she approached the panel and slaughtered some song her mom picked for her. She got the "no," but then her mom approached the judges and apologized for choosing her song.
Looks like somebody needs to head back to fifth grade.
Which other girls are hanging around? It's hard to tell, but we do know small-town girl Baylie Brown is in, as well as Kellie Pickler wannabe Jamie Lynn.
Stick around.

finally!

We laughed. We cried. We yearned for a Charo comeback. Either way, auditions are over.
I, for one, am psyched. I live for the ruthless competition, and really get no pleasure out of watching losers cry. So it's on to Hollywood, in what's supposed to be the most merciless race ever. Score.
While we're waiting, send me your predictions. Are there any obvious standouts so far? Anyone destined to be a fan favorite?
And as for auditions...how did this season compare to seasons past? Which losers do you think will be back for the finale? Was anyone cheated out of a trip to Hollywood?
Thanks for helping me through the auditions. I'll send you my therapy bill next week.

high rollin'

Or maybe Lesson No. 3 was something about respecting (re: lying to) the judges. Because we inexplicably got a power sequence about auditioners' passion for Paula. Topping that flattery pyramid was Edward, who bombed his performance but expressed his undying love without qualms. Straight up. Sadly, it didn't even earn him a yes vote from her.
Looks like MC Scat Cat doesn't have anything to worry about after all.
But back to AI's lesson. Lesson No. 4? Audition on your own, as illustrated by three Pickler-esque roller girls who auditioned in their waitress getups. Not everyone had Kellie Pickler's success, though. And by "not everyone," I mean not one.
So Hollywood gets Ebony and Ashley, while Heather -- was that her name? -- is back to low rolling and flipping burgers.
Take a break from lessons to remember the song-writing competition that's new this season. OK, the details are still scarce, but we definitely know WES -- yes, that is name that's an acronym -- won't be there. His self-penned song, "Don't Worry, Don't Hurry," earned a unanimous thumbs-down from the judges.
And no...they didn't hurry.
Lesson No. 5? "Shake Your Moneymaker?" As in...don't shake your moneymaker. Insert bad Taylor Hicks imitations here. But I will humor you by mentioning Alexander, a flexible Latin stallion who was unanimously canned as well.
We'll know who to call if we need a human pretzel to sing "Greatest Love of All," though.
Last lesson? Clarity. In summary, some people are so bad that the judges can't understand their song lyrics. Or some judges are so chemically altered that the contestants can't understand their comments.
That means you, Paula.
Luckily, the show ended on a quasi-promising note, with Lakisha's audition. This mom aced an Aretha classic with some hardcore belting. Needless to say, she's off to Hollywood.
No need to "Think" about that.

idle lessons

So you can compare my excitement over tonight's clip show to Ryan Seacrest's enthusiasm upon being forced to make a "tone deaf" pun out of another city's name. Not psyched. Still, the blogosphere is waiting, so here we go.
Tonight's theme is the "Best of the Rest," and it's driven by a theme of lessons learned from AI. Lesson No. 1: Give us an "OC" rerun instead of an hour-long filler montage. Just kidding.
Really, lesson No. 1 is "The Look," which as we learned last night hardly refers to awkward facial expressions mid-song. No, it's about fashion, as illustrated by contestant Christa, who came in with a bunch of variations of fishnets. But some really stellar red shoes.
She got a big thumbs-down from the judges, minus Paula...who said yes. Chalk it up to shared fashion sense.
"The Look" also gave us Tami, a punk-ish crooner whose version of "Whipping Post" earned her a "1,000 percent yes" from Simon. The link to The Look? 1,000 percent invisible.
Lesson No. 2? Seek inspiration. Even if it's inspiration to redeem your race. That was Paul Kim's position, as he nailed a Shai classic in hopes of proving that not all Asians are like William Hung. It worked, and I can't wait until he makes me feel less guilty about listening to "She Bangs" on repeat.
I lost Lesson No. 3...but I think it was something about auditioning over and over. Which brings us to Gina, who appeared on season five and apparently has a huge crush on Simon. She's back to Hollywood, and I can't wait for the flattery to commence again.
One word of wisdom, Gina...don't try to change his wardrobe.

pour some sugar on me?

Miss my radio stint this morning? Your loss. Get your excuses ready, though.
Anyway, without giving away too many exclusive details, I'll note that a chief topic of conversation during my appearance on Kissin 99.3 this morning was 19-year-old Ashlyn Carr, the San Antonio auditioner who was denied, then sent to Hollywood after being given a second chance. Initially, Paula and Randy turned her down, but Simon's approval led to an unexpected call back. That's when the three-judge panel sent her to Hollywood.
Facial expressions were what initially set the two judges off, but a recent report from Reality TV Magazine suggests this Sugar Land teen might have a lot more to worry about. Using documents from MySanAntonio.com and The Houstonian Online, the magazine suggests Ashlyn was reportedly arrested in November 2006 for pouring sugar in an ex-boyfriend's gas tank.
Check out the documents yourself. It's a pretty interesting read.
While this would be pretty cool grounds for competition dismissal, it also marks a peak in the inevitable deluge of contestants' reputation rumors. Reality TV Magazine is also reporting that San Antonio's Akron was "uninvited from the 'American Idol' competition for unknown reasons," not to mention rumors that Fidel Castro lookalike Sean Michel was dismissed for refusing to cut his long locks.
Sure, this isn't anything we haven't heard before -- two words: Frenchie Davis -- but the gossip nonetheless raises questions about what constitutes a role as an American Idol. Those questions become increasingly complex as the competition sees an inevitable influx in single parents, college dropouts and talented singers with tarnished pasts.
I think these issues are going to be even more relevant this year, namely in view of the recent Miss USA scandal.
Now it's your turn to weigh in. Would you vote for an excellent singer with a slightly bruised past? Is the show's winner an entertainer, or a moral compass?
Let me know what you think. And keep your sugar to yourself, sugar.

7:10 a.m.

So San Antonio's over, and so are the AI auditions. Now, we just have to survive tomorrow's clip show. Brace yourself.
In the meantime, give me your predictions for Hollywood week. Any memorable standouts so far? Anyone destined for failure?
Comment, but don't waste too much time. Especially if you want to wake up to listen to me on Kissin 99.3 tomorrow morning. Yeah...7:10 a.m.

persistence pays off

Make room for an AI first. Contestant Ashlyn performed and got the thumbs-down from Paula and Randy...supposedly because of weird facial expressions. Simon, strangely, said yes. He's into that kind of thing.
Anyway, after the verdict and inevitable tears, Simon decides the judges need to reconsider. So, in a rehearsed moment of suspense, Ashlyn comes back, performs some Gladys Knight, and gets a unanimous yes. With a weird facial expression disclaimer.
So many possible comments here...but most importantly, is Paula really in a position to give any input on weird facial expressions?
For every Ashlyn, there's a "Jake the Snake," who approached the judges with some dark song that got him denied. Times three. He proceeded to cuss out the camera, and I can't wait to catch him on an upcoming episode of "To Catch a Predator."
Luckily, Jimmy redeemed things with a performance of "Cupid" at the show's final moments. He's a "little fun Ruben," according to Simon. Translation: Fifteen, rather than 14, Clay Aikens could fit in his pocket.

i said it first

Tonight, weeks after I mused about door-opening ineptitude on my first AI blog post ever, we finally got a loser montage about exit mishaps...set against the musical backdrop of "Push It." Nothing I haven't said before.
Fortunately, the producers took a break from power sequences to give us some real contestants, like William and Akron, who came to the auditions lacking money but in possession of more than enough high expectations.
William -- aka "Hulk," seriously -- hit the judges with an awfully monotone version of "Amazing Grace," and after he got canned I had little hope for Akron. But he gave a surprisingly impressive first showing, even though Simon said he lacked personality.
Akron's response? An impromptu version of "Let's Get it On," which earned him Simon's approval. AI life lesson No. 43: When in doubt, bust out the Marvin Gaye.
But not everyone heeded Akron's wisdom, including Sandie, who performed an incoherent version of "Black Velvet." Maybe that's what led Seacrest to bust out his unrivaled wit and call the audition city "San An-Tone-Deaf."
Brilliant.

krum on over

Failure in San Antonio isn't confined to bad Billy Idol imitators, though. We were also treated to Jasmine, who offered an especially melancholy take on a Deborah Cox hit. Then, after being dissed unanimously, she proceeded to verbally assault the judges, offering a succinct, "Y'all are being rude."
Don't look at me for sympathy, Jasmine. Maybe "Nobody's Supposed to be Here" didn't work out for AI, but it remains an accurate description of your fan club meetings.
But thank God for Baylie Brown, a hot 16-year-old Texas blonde billed as a small-town girl with big-city dreams. Hailing from Krum, population 1,542, this farm girl got her own intro segment plugging her love of fashion and her role as a big fish in a small pond.
Fortunately, her take on Faith Hill's "Stronger" lived up to the hype, and she got the thumbs-up for Hollywood. Simon called her "born to be a pop star," and Paula praised her fashion sense, arriving at some weird conclusion that Krum is a town with more cows than people.
At any rate, Baylie's on her way to Hollywood, and was greeted by a cowboy hat-wearing, white-trash family who probably celebrated her victory at Wal-Mart.
Paula's parting words? "I want my name to be Baylie."
Hey Paula...maybe, if you're really nice, I'll let you trade places with my dog.

don't mess with...

...a girl who says she bought her audition outfit at a "hoochie store." Seriously.
Tonight, AI auditions are in San Antonio, and the first recipient of a coveted golden ticket to Hollywood is 24-year-old Haley. She's a sexed-up hybrid of Kelly Clarkson and Katharine McPhee, arriving at the auditions in a black backless pant getup. Haley got major kudos from Paula, but was snubbed as "cabaret" by Simon and Randy.
Still, she got a unanimous thumbs-up and it'll be interesting to see how she and her hoochie wardrobe do in Hollywood.
Of course, the show kicked off with the obligatory loser, this time in the form of Bryan, a bad Billy Idol wannabe. Let's just say he roared, roared, roared...but not in a good way.
The judges, by the way, are up to their usual tricks. Simon, for some reason, is inexplicably tired. Something tells me he had a bad run-in with a mechanical bull the night before.
Stay tuned.

it's that time again

After tonight, we're just one bad montage show away from the end of auditions. I'm as excited as Seacrest at an Abercrombie & Fitch sale. Assuming, of course, I can brave tonight's show. It's in San Antonio, and hopefully will last just one hour. As usual, check this blog for updates live throughout the show.
Still can't get enough of me? Fortunately, Columbus-area residents, you're in luck. Listen to Kissin 99.3 bright and early at 7:10 a.m. Wednesday morning to get AI exclusives you won't hear anywhere else.
As if the melodic lure of my voice isn't incentive in itself.