bring it for baywatch

But maybe I'm letting this influx of agelessness cloud my judgment. Don't get me wrong...tonight has had its successes.
We saw hopefuls like 17-year-old Tatiana of Atlanta make it to Hollywood, as well as Bernard Williams, who got the OK even after Paula blatantly defied Simon's comments. I think we know who was in the right.
What's up with all of this season's vocal replicas, though? I'll use Hollywood hopeful Jamie Lynn Ward as Exhibit A. Did we really need another Kellie Pickler? I picked Pickler with the rest of 'em, but Jamie Lynn's sob story was just one step too far. Get this, she lives with her grandma because her dad's paralyzed. And WHY is her dad paralyzed? Because he shot himself after catching his ex-wife cheating. Or something like that.
But look forward to another season of calamari jokes. Jamie Lynn made it through.
They're not all imitations, though. OK, wait. They're not all imitations of former AI contestants. Take Chris Sligh, who approached the judges looking very much like Jack Osbourne. Anyway, he said he wanted to become the next Idol "to make David Hasselhoff cry" like he did when Taylor won the competition.
Um, those were tears of jealousy, not happiness.
At any rate, Chris performed a pretty stellar version of "Kiss from a Rose," and earned the stamp of approval from all three judges. Then, in his confessional, he told producers that he had Paula in his "chubby little hands." Which means they were laced with ecstasy.
Cool.
But the night wasn't entirely about Osbourne-inspired enthusiasm, as we also saw Victoria Watson, who auditioned with floor-length hair...just like her mother. Yet her take on Josh Groban wasn't good enough.
Don't hate me...I have to say it.
Hair today, gone tomorrow.